Things I Want 2

Continuing with (somewhat) practical wants, I would like some really excellent T-shirts. The kind you encounter about once a decade, and you wear them until they’re falling off your back, all the while wishing you’d bought ten more.

The shirt on the left is my Ultimate Marian Shirt. It doesn’t exist, as far as I know. But sons of twelve bitches, do I ever want it. One in every increment of grey. The UMS of my imagination has longer sleeves than your average t-shirt, and a narrow body, very elongated. I’ve never seen anything like it in person. Searching on the internet, this comes quite close – it’s a beautiful line, SILENT by Damir Doma, even if it is beyond my means. I’d take one of those in every increment of grey, too. As consolation, you understand.

The second shirt is just old-fashioned men’s long underwear (I was using this shirt as reference). It doesn’t really belong up there with the UMS, but I like that old long-underwear fabric, and I wouldn’t mind having one. Men’s undershirts are much more likely to fit me than normal men’s t-shirts, I’m thinking.

Do you remember last summer, when I decided I was going to get over my fear of feminine things? That didn’t really work out. So this year, instead, I’m going to stick with what I know and love, and continue my lifelong adventures in not-quite-cross-dressing. My thirteen-year-old self would approve, probably with the inclusion of a few six-syllable words she couldn’t pronounce, and some “motherfuckers” thrown in to cover her confusion.

Not much has changed (except that I dress better, now).


Filed under Hchom

16 responses to “Things I Want 2

  1. monique

    On the UMS: what is the logic behind your preference for the wilder neckline, longer sleeves, added length?

    I find myself on LN-CC (or any other site that carries margiela etc.) at least once a week lusting over some not-so-feminine pairs of shoes. Or worse, “best offer-ing” on items on ebay. However, your t-shirt quest intrigues me. At this time, most of what I wear is sweatshirts with t-shirts under them so, they have been on the back burner since last summer.
    BUT, you’re on to something with the grey. It is pitstain proof, still neutral, and not black. I do like the longer sleeves but that middle length is super hard to find. THE worst is princess cut shorter short sleeves or whatever it’s called. And maybe the ULTIMATE worst is when women’s t-shirts have a tiny pocket, what I call “dime bag” pockets………

    • Marian

      Ahh! That awkward tiny pocket is on everything these days, like some kind of contagious, badly-positioned tit-parasite! I hate that thing.

      Mostly the UMS details are my own obsessive, selfish preferences. Like, I think neck-hugging crew-necks don’t look that great on me, but anything scoop necked or “deep-v” makes me scared to lean forward. I want something just wide enough to show off the collarbones, and that’s it. The body length is the main one. Normal t-shirts, especially after they’ve been washed, have a crop-top effect on me, like a bad copy of a Calvin Klein ad from 1995. The mid-sleeve length is just what I like the look of – a bit more androgynous than standard women’s shirts – and like you said, totally impossible to find.

      Mostly I wear t-shirts underneath things too, so it’s weird that I’m so particular about it. But if your t-shirt is ideal, then everything else just works better too. Or so I try to claim.

  2. anonymous

    Marian, do you have a account? It is like Things You Want set in the real world. Which may defeat the purpose of this exercise, but still, I’d love to actually buy clothes curated by you.

    • Marian

      Ahh, this is tempting. It would be a place to put all impossibly expensive clothes that I want and can never have. I’ll think about it, for sure.

  3. Sarah Velez

    Haha the umbro shorts! Yes!

    • Marian

      I also considered doing the tearaway pants. I remember when they started selling those, and everyone had to have them – I may have been a little older though.

  4. I bet Uniqlo would have that kind of long shirt for fairly cheap. Their stuff always fits me like a dream, but I am tiny boy and have no idea what your body type is. The neck looks all wide, but .

    Things I Want: To live inside your blog.

    • Marian

      My torso is like a tiny boy’s, more or less, so this is probably apt advice. I need to take a trip to New York, so I can visit one in person (and, you know, also so I can see New York). And you’re right, that shirt would be pretty close to ideal if the neck were narrower. I’d probably have good luck buying men’s shirts there, and taking in the side seams.

  5. Joshua

    My 13 year old self would have written your 13 year old self so many overwrought poems.

    • Marian

      My 13 year old self would have been unreasonably pleased with this! However, she’d probably have told your 13 year old self that the metre was all wrong, thus offending you forever. She wasn’t too smart, like that.

  6. Sister

    Don’t forget the bad fantasy novels that you would read at the dinner table that drove mom insane, AND the constant need to give any camera the finger.

    • Marian

      I still do that with cameras when I can get away with it, it’s just that mum isn’t around to be bothered by it most of the time.

  7. My friends and I have a rule about 5 and 6 syllable words; if you use one you’re being pretentious and must drink a shot (presumably you will lose you verbal acuity shortly thereafter), BUT if you can use a 7 syllable word in a coherent sentence you can make someone else drink because you have proven your intelligence beyond a reasonable doubt.

    My English major has thus been rendered useless amongst friends…

    • Marian

      I’m guessing it doesn’t take very long, before nobody can count the syllables anyway.

      Or it wouldn’t with me, lightweight that I am, and slow with the counting.

  8. kim

    have you ever shot a t-shirt cannon? i so much want to!

  9. The Silent shirt is on sale at LNCC right now, so maybe it is within your grasp.

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