Normally my fantasy living space would be something a little less staid and reasonable. But, for a variety of reasons, Brandon and I are having to look for new apartments, and there’s nothing like sudden nest-insecurity to make a nice, one bedroom unit of moderate size seem like the most appealing thing on earth.
So dear Vancouver, can we make this happen? Plus, I must say, I’ve never had hardwood floors before, and I think it’s time. The bathtub carved out of solid quartz crystal would be a nice touch, but I’m ready to discard that expectation if necessary. Brandon’s bathtub can be perfectly normal, even – he doesn’t care about these things.
Look, Vancouver, I’m the best tenant ever. I’m obsessively tidy, and I write rent cheques a year in advance, and I only practice my shrill wind instruments, like, once or twice a month. You want me! You want me to want you! Do we have an understanding? Two apartments, same building, nice location, decent rent, good flooring. GO.
Plus, dear mum and dad, I will trade you all the old art that you already have stored in your basement for that teak drawer unit. How can I afford to be so generous? Well, what can I say. I’m a giver.