When I was a teenager, my high school best friend and her mum used to take me along to attend Afternoon Tea at this little tea house in our neighborhood. Oh man, this place! It was about as froufy and lacy as you could possibly imagine, and I was constantly anxious about the gawkiness of my elbows, and the un-crossedness of my ankles; but the food was great, and they particularly excelled at those triple tiers of tiny scones and pastries. I don’t need to tell you that the only thing better than one very nice pastry is nine or ten of them arranged for my enjoyment, so greed won out easily enough against my (butch teenager trapped in teahouse) discomfort – even to the point where I was constantly pressing to return.
I think about that place all the time, even fifteen or so years later. So here is my proposed Goblin Tea.
Layer 1: Sandwiches. I have no particular interest in those traditional crustless tea sandwiches, so instead I want thin slices of baguette with some kind of meat and cheese and that, um, leafy plant that people put in sandwiches. Also, I want mini croissants. And there’s no end to what might be in them, because croissants make everything taste better.
Layer 2: Scones. All I want are plain scones and raisin or currant scones. But like, THE BEST scones – no playing fast and loose. Also jam and butter.
Layer 3: Desserts. Guys, it was so hard to narrow this down to three. But as of my current mood, I want little lemon bars, and tiny flaky fruit tarts, and little choux pastry puffs with maybe a small measure of vanilla custard in them (but I have a weird preference for eating them totally plain).