Need List

You know I love to want things, but every want drags behind it a shadow: an actual, practical (and probably long abandoned) need. It’s like a mirror world, yes? Or an alternate but overlapping plane of existence! So here is a need list.

1. Let’s ease in with a semi-want/semi-need. It’s halfway through the portal, if you like. This is supposed to be a paper cutter (it’s an awkward thing to draw), because I’m dead tired of having to cut all my paper manually, with scissors. I cut a lot of paper, and I’m impatient, so I make a ragged mess of all the edges and then they don’t line up well in my scanner… it’s very inefficient!  My cutter would have to be at least 24″ x 24″, and you know I’d prefer a cool old wooden one, because of course I would.

2. This is a key to my building’s garage. I don’t have this key, because the effort of knocking on my building manager’s door, and telling him I need one, and passing him $3 is, apparently, too much for me to handle. I don’t even think it’s social anxiety in this case – or not completely – just sheer, pathetic inertia. In the meantime, my lovely elderly car (handed down to me from my aunt, may she bask in good fortune forever) sits outside in the rain and smells increasingly like wet golden retriever.

3. This is an oven mitt. The thought of owning an oven mitt actually annoys me – I don’t know why, maybe because I’d have to find drawer space for it – but then, once every six months or so, I burn my hand on a cooking tray and can’t draw comfortably for a week, and I’m forced to reevaluate. Still not worth its cost in muffins, though.

4. This one is serious, because I’m certainly ruining my (already somewhat compromised) spine by sitting all day in a rickety old wooden chair instead of a normal, reasonable computer chair. So why haven’t I taken care of it? I don’t know, I guess because proper chairs are expensive and sort of ugly, and somehow there are always other things I’d rather get. Maybe I could try a back supporting pillow as a  halfway measure, but I keep putting that off too.

5. And here we have a bath mat. I only remembered this at the very last minute, because I’ve gone so long without one that I actually tend to forget that people use them (at least until I’m bathing at somebody else’s house, as I’m doing right now). Anyway, I’m not sure if I need this, but I feel like I’m supposed to need it.

6. Work gloves! This is a new need. I was just given a community garden plot (right in the park beside my building – it’s great) but I have no correct equipment or clothing. I keep meaning to buy gloves, and then forgetting, and then getting dirt so far under my nails that I have to cut them below the quick to remove it.

7. And a knife. For at least the last four years, I’ve been cutting all my vegetables and stuff with a fold-up pocket knife. Which, frankly, works just fine, only it rather threatens the illusion that I’m a functional adult.


Filed under Hchom

10 responses to “Need List

  1. shaggykorean

    Marian Im always sneaking to a coworkers desk and using their paper cutter… I like to cut comic backing boards in threes to supplement my filing box (which is actually vintage glowey green tupperware) anything to prep my stamps for quick deployment and subsequent sale!

  2. A decent ergonomic office chair is at the top of my list of current needs, too. The chair I have is an old office chair that has adopted the same laid-back policy toward my spine and posture as I have toward many things in my life, so I find myself slumping and slouching most of the time, and sore after a few hours of drawing on the tablet. My wife just told me how much she paid for her chair, though. Sounds like it might be cheaper to pull one of the seats out of your car and use that instead. :(

    • Marian

      They can’t all be that pricey, can they? Except that they seem to be. I figure I’ll just wait until my spine is so bad, the future doctors are forced to replace it with a cybernetic implant.

  3. These are good wants. I didn’t own an oven mitt for the last two years (well, I do actually have an ornamental Nintendo Power Glove oven mitt, but it looks too nice to use and will apparently melt on contact with heat), but then I was very kindly given Ove Gloves by a secret santa last christmas, and man, that’s some good stuff.

    I am also excited to hear more about your garden plot! What a lovely thing.

    • Marian

      Ooh, I’m excited that you’re excited to hear about the garden, because I wasn’t sure if anybody would care or not. One person caring is enough to warrant my posting about it!

  4. If you don’t want to spent money on a new chair, you might want to use an air filled pillow to sit on. I have severe spine trouble (lower back) and it got much, much better, since I got that cushion to sit on, as you always wiggle a little, thus activating the small muscles supporting your spine).

  5. Amstrad

    My own office chair was falling apart (the back literally fell off). I managed to find a decent replacement on Craigslist for $10.. which was /significantly/ less expensive than buying a brand new one. Victory!

    • Marian

      Yes, craigslist. There are so many things I could stand to look for on craigslist, I just can’t get over the actually calling of strangers, and setting up of purchases. I need to get over my social cowardice first.

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