I expect all of us (or at any rate, those of us who are lucky enough to spend time being wistful about absurd shit like this) can remember a particular pair of pants which were THE ONE. I should hesitate to write “the one pair to rule them all”, but I won’t. Because perfect pants call for tired-out Lord Of The Rings references, and you only live once.

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I will just roll onward with this, minus any preamble about how I haven’t posted in foreverandever. So right now, fresh from my eternal loop of rotating teenage boy-or-girl phases, I am into witchy stuff, and I’m yearning to style myself towards some perplexing combination of that scary white-haired, bloody-egg-cracking, womb-clutching woman in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (fine, fine movie), and my personal eternal lifestyle icon, Aughra from The Dark Crystal. But slightly more mannish, altogether.

So, with that inspiration in mind, here is my Cribbers wish-list (part one, with any luck).

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I’ve gotten bad at this, haven’t I? I’m trying to get in the habit of bringing my camera around, but my photogenic freewheeling pastry lifestyle isn’t what it used to be. So while I figure my shit out, here are a couple of interviews for you. I’m extra pleased about these, because last winter I bombed, like, five interviews, and I was expecting nobody would ask me for one ever again.

The second one isn’t about comics, but rather modding. I haven’t talked much about modding, here, but it’s like my secret obsessive other job.

Sequential Highway

TESAlliance

Plus, check out those new shinies. That is rough black opal, on the left – most pleasing purchase of my life (all jackets notwithstanding).

This goblin is supposed to be decked out in, I guess, some kind of Ursula/Shepard-gentleman cosplay? It made sense in my head.

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Here is the unreasonable half of my birthday list. I’m aware that my lists always contain the same stuff over and over (and over) again, but when it comes down to it, there aren’t really very many things that I want. Just things that I want a lot.

I have managed a few upgrades this year, however. Like, why stop at one giant shiny? Make that shit into a whole shiny forest. And also, check out my fantasy adventure island. I feel bad for the real, live human NPCs who have to live in my fantasy town, selling fantasy stuff and giving out quests (I’m lying, I don’t feel bad at all). My sister also compounds for a Treasure Island-style hermit, marooned, with nothing better to do than move buried treasure from one location to another.

My birthday is in less than two weeks, so it’s time for our annual list. This year I’m dividing it into two parts, reasonable and unreasonable, since it always seems to fall naturally into those categories anyway.
So here is my reasonable birthday list. Very reasonable indeed, except maybe for the sunglasses, as the only ones I can ever seem to get interested in are impossibly expensive. Why are cheap sunglasses always terrible? In fact, no, here is my theory: some people just look good in glasses – whatever shitty pair they happen to pick up. And some people (I’m talking about myself, now) look terrible in glasses, and need a really exceptional pair to compensate for that. Which means, realistically, that I live in a squinting, sunglassesless limbo.

I can’t make a proper post happen this week, but I want to point out that I did some illustrations for Inventory Magazine. I’m particularly pleased about this one, partly because it’s a local production, but also because the contents are so perfectly Hchommish. So get a hold of a copy if you can.

Normally my fantasy living space would be something a little less staid and reasonable. But, for a variety of reasons, Brandon and I are having to look for new apartments, and there’s nothing like sudden nest-insecurity to make a nice, one bedroom unit of moderate size seem like the most appealing thing on earth.

So dear Vancouver, can we make this happen? Plus, I must say, I’ve never had hardwood floors before, and I think it’s time. The bathtub carved out of solid quartz crystal would be a nice touch, but I’m ready to discard that expectation if necessary. Brandon’s bathtub can be perfectly normal, even – he doesn’t care about these things.

Look, Vancouver, I’m the best tenant ever. I’m obsessively tidy, and I write rent cheques a year in advance, and I only practice my shrill wind instruments, like, once or twice a month. You want me! You want me to want you! Do we have an understanding? Two apartments, same building, nice location, decent rent, good flooring. GO.

Plus, dear mum and dad, I will trade you all the old art that you already have stored in your basement for that teak drawer unit. How can I afford to be so generous? Well, what can I say. I’m a giver.

I know my last post was a want list, so really, isn’t it time for an Impossible Jacket or the Spring 2012 line or something? But no, in my personal triage system, this want list is bleeding all over the floor from its gruesomely severed main artery. Which is to say, I’m feeling more than usually petulant and in need of everything that is tasty and awesome and expensive, and the internet at large must know.

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I took what turned out to be a longish break from posting. Longer than intended, but it was much-needed, and I’m returning to my more regular-irregular posting schedule now. Want lists and other familiar things pending.

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Here is my customary end-of-year emptying of the memory card. 2011: strong in marmalade and chickens.

For my part I’m anti-resolutions, but I do promise to start emailing people back tomorrow since I’ve been avoiding logging-in for the past two weeks (which is to say, the past two months). 2011: weak in timely correspondence. All those other years, too. Also weak in that.

I’m spending my New Year’s Eve alone in my island fastness, as I like to do, complete with fire and onesie and a plentiful selection of bread items. Pretty pleased with myself, I have to say.

Happy New Year, guys!

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I think stockings are the best part of Christmas. Certainly they are in my family – the finest and most extensive care package of the year. There are a few specific traditions that I didn’t need to list here. For instance, we always get a small box of Space Lego to put together before breakfast (to keep us occupied, so my parents can have time to wake up before getting to the bigger stuff – is it bad that we still need that?).  But we are sort of reasonable now. At least, we’ve taken up the practice of putting together stockings for our parents, too.

Anyway, mum, here is my list of specific ideas (most of which hardly need reiterating, but I like talking about them anyway).

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So look, my mum needs me to make her a Christmas list, and I happen to have this website which is all about things that I want, conveniently in need of an update. So here goes nothing. (I must warn you, mum, this list is not particularly practical – nonetheless, it’s the best I can seem to manage…)

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My Skryim hype, boundless though it may be, lingers particularly on certain features of the game. So to please myself, and because it’s International Skyrim Week, I’m going to list them.

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There’s something about a robust videogame character creation system that unhinges 13-year-old Marian from my brain and sets her flailing for control. Though really my tastes at 13 were pretty dismally similar to what they are at present (at least secretly, underneath my careful shellac of coolness. What, you haven’t noticed my careful shellac of coolness?) Anyway, here is a sheet for the character I’d like to make, more or less, depending on what I’m working with. I even gave her a birthday, because you know my feelings about birthdays.

Also, note my implementation of the proprietary “When Dealing With Stuff” system (I came up with the name all by myself). The standard alignments never quite do it for me, so this is my version, with less emphasis on good and evil, and more emphasis on, uh, dealing with stuff.

And some more translation, for anybody who doesn’t care about Skyrim, but is nonetheless good-naturedly reading through these posts: “Bosmer”, for comparison, are sort of like the Wood Elves of Tolkien. And “Evening Star” is the Elder Scrolls iteration of December. Oh, and “Argonians” are lizard guys. They look like this and I LOVE THEM.

Finally, for anybody who (like me) doesn’t care at all about their public image (or their shellac), and wants to fill out a totally unironic Skyrim character sheet, here is a blank version.